My “Mamarbari” (ancestral home of my mom), in Central Kolkata, was an epic example of the long-lost, Indian Joint-Family, where minding everyone’s business was the decree and sharing everything with each other was the basic norm.🤓
Most of my early childhood days were spent in that huge house along with several cousins; in the indulging care of my “Dida” (grandma), my loving “Mashis,” (aunts) the bossy “Mamas”(uncles).🤪 Therefore, my initial upbringing was a perfect fusion of lenience and austerity within a family, which was self-sufficient to nurture and discipline the kids on their own terms and by their own rules.
Every action was continuously monitored by the elders of the household and needless to say, there were too many of them around, all the time! Therefore, we received continuous mentoring, had no choice but to follow the protocols, learn the etiquettes to be in the good books and avoid getting into trouble.😇
‘Dadu” (grandpa) was the captain of the huge household. Throughout the year the place used to buzz with the influx of relatives and friends from all corners of the country. There was no dearth of space for the extra visitor nor was there any shortage of wholesome, fulfilling food. In fact, the house was the epicenter of most celebrations, festivities as well as weddings. The highlight of the memories of few such weddings is: waking up in the wee hours of the night to the much-awaited first tasting of the various fresh, hot desserts being prepped in the house as part of the wedding feast, the next day.
There was the head cook or “Thakurmoshai” and he was assisted by a few other helps. He and his team managed to the catering of food during all such family occasions. There was no buffet system in those days. The “Mamas” were always in charge of serving over five hundred odd guests tirelessly, coaxing and attending to them and making them feel at ease and enjoy the food. The whole family functioned as a unit to get the party started, set it rolling and make it very distinctive and memorable every time! Be it a cozy family get-together or a grand bong wedding there was something very special about the food in my “Mamarbari.” It was steeped with the abundance of love and happiness.
The “Thakurmoshai” also took care of preparing a feast for at least twenty to thirty-odd people per meal on a regular basis, without a grumble. Mealtimes were a complete circus of loud chatter, laughter, debates along with the servings of the delicious traditional Bengali delicacies, stimulating every taste bud; bitter, savory, spicy, sour and ending on a sweet note with some mandatory, famous Bengali “Mishti.”
There was never a dull moment in that house and amidst the cacophony of the big joint family, food was a major catalyst to maintain accord and bind everything together for all those years. Just like the old saying goes, “A family that Eats Together, Stays Together.”
In recent times, it is extremely rare to find a functional joint family in the true sense. However, the traditional Bengali food recipes have been reverentially guarded and passed down from one generation to the next and are replicated to be enjoyed on specific occasions and family get-togethers as a fond remembrance of a bygone era of unconditional hospitality.
By the way, what are your favorite picks from the super long list of Bengali cuisine? If you have not tried, you must check out an authentic bong “Thali” at a Bengali restaurant near you and better still, make some Bengali friends. I can guarantee that if nothing else, you will thank me for great food, awesome music and the best literary “addas” of your life!😜
